Missed blogging

So I made an everything, daily blog. Sadly, there won't be many updates over here in TTC Land. Follow me @ Angela's Adventures in...

Hurry!

MySpace-Countdowns

Oh hi.

Nothing really new to report. Eat. Sleep. Work. Repeat.

Waiting on AF. It's CD30-something. Make that 40.

Just felt the need to type something here.

AF, Reading and The Next Cycle

AF came in a rather timely fashion for a change. Bravo, old gal, bravo! Tomorrow is payday and I already have my Amazon.com shopping cart ready for checkout. That's right...TTC is back ON! Like Donkey Kong even. hehe Gonna shop for healthy foods after work tomorrow. But first...Applebee's wings and an Apple Martini as my last hoorah! I still have a refill or 2 of Metformin so I'm good to go. Come on BFP!!

I just finished House Rules by Jodi Picoult.

Can you believe it? I still remember how to read lol. This book was amazing, all of JP's are though. I feel like I learn so much when I read her books too. This was about a teenager with Asperger's Syndrome which is on the autism spectrum. I also love how her books have courtroom drama in them too. I couldn't put it down.

Next on my list to read is another by Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home.

If you haven't read any by her, you really should! Her most famous is My Sister's Keeper which was a major movie starring Cameron Diaz. A couple more are lifetime movies, The Tenth Circle and now Salem Falls is going to be one. Seriously, go get one of her books. You won't be disappointed.

Not Prepared For That

So, I have been and will be spending a lot of time working in the ER. Today, I admitted a young girl in tears. She was 17. I'm not allowed to ask her what's wrong. If she wants to tell me of her volition, she can...but I can't ask. I found out later that she was approximately 5-6 weeks pregnant and was bleeding. It seriously broke my heart. I don't know about some infertiles, but I kind of have hard feelings about teenagers who don't really want a baby and get pregnant, and so many of us can't that really do want to.

...But, what about those that really do want that little baby they just found out about? And, then just like that - it's gone.

Sobering. Yes, indeed.

Job Update

The job is going good. The last couple of days, I've been in the ER. It's really crazy! Everyone is nice so far. I'm about to start night shift and I'm glad because getting up at 5 was killing me slowly lol. There's really not a whole lot to update, though. Maybe something interesting will happen this week.

Link up!

Find my Facebook photography fan page here!

Awesome News...finally!

Nope. Not Pregnant. But getting closer to it thanks to...my new JOB! It's part-time clerical at the local hospital but she assured me I would be full-time in no time. And the best part...fully paid insurance! WOOOOOOOT! My friend works there and she said the insurance is amazing. She went to the doc and they ran about $600 worth of tests. And she only paid a $40 co-pay. Ohhhhh, where have you been all my life? So, TTCing will hopefully be hardcore in the near future! YAY!

Randoms

Some stuff I'm going to be working on.

1. Making half-apron for my photography junk while shooting. It is mega annoying when you're trying to shoot and your camera bag is falling off your shoulder. Another photographer posted a pic of herself and mentioned that was a waitress apron she was wearing to hold her lenses and stuff. My immediate thought was - Genius. So, I'm going to crochet myself one with custom pockets.
2. Make pose blueprints for shoots. This idea came to me while browsing Pinterest. I thought - All these great pose ideas and I forget half of them on shoots. So, my idea is to sketch out blueprints of the pose...stick figures will work and maybe a few keywords on some index cards. I'll go through my stack and handpick some for each shoot.
3. Reupholster 2 junk items I found. This one scares me most. But I didn't pay for the items so nothing is really lost...except maybe my patience in the end.
4. 500 Fans Contest This is actually going on right now on my Facebook Fan Page. I have 14 people competing for a chance to win 1/2 off their session fee. It ends tomorrow (7/3/11) at 6pm.

I suddenly got really sleepy thinking about all that. Or maybe it's just an after effect of all the BBQ. DH is going to be gone for at least a few days, so I have some projects to keep me busy.

Ultrasound Today

It's been awhile since I had one of those suckers. It was sooooooo hot here today even at 10am, so throwin' back 5 large styrofoam cups of water made me wanna puke and pee my pants.

The u/s tech didn't really tell me much, but this u/s was a little different than the others I've had. Normally, I fill my bladder up so my girly bits are visible and just try not to pee while they do their thing,  but in the middle of it she had me get up, go pee and come back. She said the reason for that was to see if my bladder is emptying fully when I pee. I guess that may be a cause of the hematuria.

Anyway, I hope to hear something from the doc tomorrow.

OH and I have graduated from spotting to extremely light flow. :) CD72

Trip to Urgent Care

After 3 weeks of abdominal pain that comes and goes, I decided to finally go to the urgent care clinic. It was especially bad today. And every day when I wake up, I cramp horribly..like before I even make it out of bed. Super weird. But I figured I should get it checked out in case I have some funky cyst(s) issue. It's like CD66 or something like that.

Well surprise, surprise. They found blood in my pee, which happens every single time I go to the doc. I told her that too. I'm like..it doesn't hurt when I pee. They always try to write it off as a uti. But then she asked me a magical question "Have you ever had an ultrasound done?" I could have squealed...but they might have taken me over to the mental ward. I told her not in a looooong time, and when I did they found a 5cm cyst. So *hallelujah chorus* she ordered a u/s. She wants pelvic and bladder looked at. I call Monday to schedule. Oh, I still got an Rx for my 'uti'. And take tylenol, and drink plenty of fluids in the meantime.

Let's Talk TTC For A Sec

Me and my reproductive parts are about to have a fight. Seriously! The short version if you are a chart reader. Didn't temp, opk, nothing!

The long version. CD32 I had some dark brown spotting. I'm like "Oh, hi AF." Not that simple. It disappeared. Fast forward to CD36. I sit on the toilet and before I peed, I felt a gooey sensation. I did a cm check and there was A LOT of it. I though it was clear at first, but when I wiped it on toilet paper it was liiiiight brown/tan. Then poof, that's gone. I have tested (I think it was CD 33?) and BFN. So frustrated.

CD Almost 1

I had a teeeeeny bit of brown spotting today, then poof! Gone. /sigh. IDK why my body has to beat around the dang bush. Gah. Just do it already. I had no high hopes for this cycle, so I'm not all that busted up about it. Just get on with it and get it over with!

I can totally do this

I need to figure out some things I can do at home to get a more all over workout. I know walking is good but it's not working all of my muscles or attacking all of the fat. Like this spare tire around my waist - yuck! So let's talk about my small victories:

1. No soda. None. EVER.
2. Water water water. And omg I pee all the time haha.
3. Salad! Loving it. Being cautious with dressings.
4. Yogurt. Never been a yogurt eater but I like it as a healthy snack :)
5. So this week I have walked over 5 miles. YEAH. That's pretty good for me. Next week will be even more.
6. Obviously.... -2 pounds. Yeah I know, Monday is weigh in day but I couldn't resist. :P

Still have to work out today, but I am feeling good about what I've done this week.

Two Down

Down two pounds so far. Couldn't resist weighing hehehe. Oh, and I got a bike today! Hooray!!! Tomorrow I bike!!

Technology for Fat Folks

So I ended up walking twice yesterday for a total of almost 3 miles, which made today HARD but I pushed through for 1.2 miles. It's kinda nice walking with DH ♥ I have an app that keeps track of every single detail. It follows me on like a Google map, shows # of steps, how many MPH I'm walking and in how many minutes. It play my mp3s too :o) And it also has a section for food! It allows me to figure out exactly how many calories I'm eating. I just love it. It's called Noom. Here's some screenshots. I HIGHLY recommend this! Oh, and it's fuh-reeeee!

Feeling it

I think I like this! Last time when I tried to lose weight it was winter and I didn't exercise much at all. Today Adam and I walked 1 . 2 miles! :) I was a little sore from the C25K yesterday but I made it. Still eating good, although I'm not sure about the Caveman diet thing but I'm definitely making a lot of changes. Mondays are weigh-ins! Oh and I added a cute ticker over there at the top right.

Week One: {day one}

Well it sucked. Not gonna lie. Today i had lots of water, apple, nuts, dinner at mexican and light yogurt for snack. The food was easy, the exercising is what sucked, but i made it. My starting weight is .... 197.

It's Time

I know I've said it before but I REALLY mean it this time. I need to will lose weight. I haven't said this to anyone other than Adam, but I've been having some self esteem issues. I'm really not the type to feel that way and I'm not sure where it's coming from. I guess infertility and the feelings of being a failure (or whatever you want to call it) spill over into other areas. Anyway, it could definitely improve my chances of conceiving, so why haven't I already done it. Well, one - I'm lazy. And two - I love food. A friend from my TTC forum posted a link to "The Caveman Diet" and I bookmarked it. I thought it was really interesting and something I should try. I've got the C25K app downloaded to my phone.  Got some 4 legged companions ready and willing to come for a walk with me. So, I'm thinking I'll start fresh on Monday and give it my all. I'll post daily so I can hold myself accountable.

Off The Hook

That's what I'm calling my little crocheting enterprise.

Off The Hook on Facebook

Tantrum

Life isn't FAIR. Yeah I know this. It still sucks.

I'm sad and mad for me and Adam - but not just for us. I've met many online friends, extraordinary women, who want nothing more than to hold a baby in their arms. But it just won't happen. Some have never been pregnant. Some have had the joy of new pregnancy ripped from them by miscarriage. One had her heart completely broken when her baby was taken by SIDS.

I look around and I just shake my head. Seeing children who aren't being taken care of. Children who don't know they are loved. All these women who would love just the chance to have what so many take for granted or feel burdened by. I just don't get why it's this way. Why can't infertility go to someone who really doesn't want kids?

Boredom and Rambling + New Look

Well, it's 12am and I am restless. Bored, yet I can't find anything that interests me. I redid my blog tho..that took like 25 minutes. (note to self: make new signature)

Let's see...updates:

• River: Crested and going down YAY!
• TTC: Lost. It's CD21...for real??????!
• Photography: That dance was INSANE and I'm coming away with like a thousand bucks. And a MAJOR headache.
• DH on the jobfront: AWESOME. He got a job making almost $4 more than he was and we'll be able to get those coveted BENEFITS!!
• Me on the jobfront: looking and wanting but no takers. Boo.

Waterworld..no really

So, it's flooding here. I think I've mentioned my town is on the banks of the Mississippi. We have been having storms non-stop and now it's flooding. Here is the latest info I have and a pic.

Posting from a friend who was at the City Council meeting - Caruthersville has declared a State of Emergency, the ONLY thing this really means to us right now is that there is a curfew on the Seawall and Levees, if you are caught there after 6 in your vehicle or on foot it is $500 fine and 90 days in jail. There is NO MANDATORY evacuation right now. The City has a working plan in place but the Mayor says now is the time to make sure your fam and possessions are taken care of. Be ready and have a family plan bc if it goes over 48 and there is an evacuation then you will have to leave immediately. Signs around the community as well as local radio stations will keep you updated with the river stages. Listen to your news sources for accurate info. The Mayor stresses to make sure all of your info is correct before you pass anything along. We do not need any incorrect information putting fear in anyone. At current predictions of 48 on May 7th, the wall should hold BUT you need to be ready just in case. They are doing their part, you should be doing yours to take care of your family. Make plans for where you will go and what you will do with your possessions and how you will secure your property. Our officials are doing all that they can to take care of the City, if is our job to take care of our families now instead of waiting until it is to late. In all hopes your preparations will be for nothing. But better a waste than a wish of what you should have done. No word on school yet but should know something soon. The Mayor says ready yourself and pray.

This is a park at the riverfront. If you look on the right you can see a street sign. There are several park benches also that are completely submerged.

Happy Accidents

So, the senior pictures I took the other day were for a distant cousin. I know I may have felt a little jaded about her being a teen mommy, when I am not a mommy (and gettin' pretty far from teen there too). But, I am so impressed with her. She was born with a physical handicap (arm) and is doing better than most teens her age who are 'normal' and don't have a baby. She only has to go to school half a day her senior year. She works the other half at a day care. She isn't with the baby's father and she has her own place. Pretty impressive.

I noticed a few days before her shoot that there was a field of white flowers in an empty lot next to the grocery store. It really didn't make sense at all...yet there it was. A happy little accident - this ugly lot had been transformed to this beautiful field of flowers. I HAD to use it.

So, I rounded her and the baby up and off we went. She calls him monkey, so I brought along a sock monkey hat of course!

Ok so maybe I blogged too soon

About things going good on the job front fro DH. It seems this new boss is also giving him the run around. He's going to a job fair Monday to try to nab a job that pays better and has benefits. It's out of town, so thats going to be a challenge. Blah.]

It's CD 4. We're gonna NTNP this month. Which when you have PCOS really means sitting this month out. I know to really ovulate, I need to take my Met, eat right and exercise a little. It's REALLY hard to do that since we live with DH's parents and my diet food turns up eaten by someone else.It's expensive buying healthy food - AND replacing it!!  DH seems to be on a health kick and maybe I can go along with him and drop a couple pounds. Not likely, since I have a re-addiction to Sour Punch Straws. I discovered this little childhood treasure on a convenience store shelf while paying for gas one day, and I'm itching for my third pack lol.

I'm still busy with photo shoots (when I'm not getting rained out) It seems like when things are slow, it's reeeeeeallly slow and when I'm busy, I'm SUPER busy.

One of THOSE days

I have a senior shoot today, a girl...and her 10 month old son..yep, it's gonna be one of those days.

In other news, still no AF. Planning on testing Wednesday if I don't see anything before then. If nothing else, a surefire way to induce AF is to get your hopes up and test, right?

Something...anything?

CD38..*looks at watch*..make that 39. Please God I hope this isn't one of those super long cycles. I feel like something is coming though. My boobs are sore and kinda..plump? It could go either way. And seriously just do something already!

Update and a small vent

It's CD37. Blah. I had some EWCM 4/8 and I OPKd. It was pretty dark like it might have been positive the day before or was going to be positive the day after. And I tested with an HPT because...well just because I guess. And I swear there was something there. Original and invert. I dunno. I tested after that and saw something but it was off center. So....that that's what's going on with that.

Things are going good on the job front for DH. Looks like he will be getting a huge promotion by end of summer and we may move to a different state. Eek! As for me, still doing the photography thing when the weather permits. I had a senior session yesterday (i'm coming back to that) and one on the 17th. I've also got a couple maternity sessions and a wedding coming up!

So the senior session from yesterday. Well, let's see it is mid-April in Missouri. It was super windy. Ok, I can't control the weather. I also can't help that you waited until the month before graduation to schedule your son's senior pics. Well, we did do some in the snow in January but she wanted more. Also, her decision. I think the pictures are coming out great considering. Here's a few:

Some she loved, some she had no comment and some...well..

This one I love...just wish the hair wasn't wind blown.

 This one I love, but Perry thinks his eyes are messed up...did you add any color because they do look like they are two   different shades or is it the lighting that's doing it?

 I love the look of the picture but I wish the wind wouldn't have been 90 miles per hour!!!

 I like this one but the background didn't turn out so pretty.

 not to thrilled with this...I would like it better if the background was blurred out.

I'm on the brink here...

WTF

On the TTC front: Im CD31 with no ovulation that I know of. I got neither a high nor a peak on my CBFM, but I ran out of sticks pretty early. I was looking through my memory card and found a stick that should have at least been a high reading i would think:

And today I have EWCM. ME!! EWCM! It stretched as far and I could pull apart my finger and thumb. What gives! Oh and if I am just now O'ing - DH is out of town. OF COURSE.

Getting Old

I really hate that I'm getting older and the main reason isn't gray hair or wrinkles...it's that I feel like I spend 75% of my time in the bathroom, thinking about going to the bathroom, or finding a bathroom when I'm not home. Gah, I remember when I was a kid I didn't have to pee for like an hour or two after I woke up. My grandma was amazed by this - I just thought she was weird. Now, I wake up, feel the pain of my full bladder, mentally get it under control and make a mad dash for the potty. /sigh My favorite thing is to be sitting in my recliner, underneath my laptop with 10 million things hooked to it, a dog beside me and have to freaking pee! UGH!! It's just so annoying. So I guess that's my blog today - pee.....

Cycle #17,834 coming to an end

It's been a month of birthdays. First mine on the 11th, then baby Dyllan was born on the 21st then Adam's was the 22nd. It's been crazy. Baby Dyllan deciding to come a full 9 days before his scheduled C-section delivery had everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off. (btw that's a horrible saying) I stayed with SIL for many of their first few days home, day and night, taking them to doctors' appointments, etc. She also has an almost 10 year old who I delivered to school and karate lessons. So let's just say between cake, parties, babysitting and being away from DH, I didn't ovulate and even if I did our moments together have been scattered here and there (and when I WAS home I was pooped) so it wouldn't have mattered. Also, wanted to throw this out there, I was taking my Metformin from an old bottle, not super old, a few months. I was wondering if they were old and didn't have any oomph to them? (is that a word? i think so..) I have a new bottle so we'll see I guess. So come on AF, I know you're coming...

Foul Mood

OMG. It's one of those days I need a punching bag. I'm pretty sure I would break a bone. I'm just really really mad. I was fine until we went over to mom's. She was watching "One Born Every Minute" (yay). Then she goes to her favorite anecdote - how she "just can't wait for when I have a baby. I'm not gonna be able to take it because I don't like pain (wtf)." For some reason she thinks I have no pain tolerance and I have heard this a million times from her. Well before I didn't have the big, festering, infertility stab wound in my back. She poured salt allllll up in it tonight and I.lost.it. I mean does she think she is Wonder Woman? OBVIOUSLY it's going to hurt. OBVIOUSLY I don't like pain, who the hell does? I told her that too. I said do you like pain? NO. I don't sit around crying when I have pain, and I do have pain. My menstrual cramps HURT. When I have cysts, IT HURTS. She doesn't know my pain tolerance. I told her point blank she WILL NOT be by my side when I give birth. She will just piss me off.

Other notable things that have gone wrong today:

• I stepped on a staple with the heel of my bare foot.
• My dogs unraveled a whole skein of yarn
• I grabbed one can of soda out of the fridge and several fall onto the floor.

Is it tomorrow yet?

Happy Birthday Dyllan

Today has been quite a day. We woke up to many texts coming through saying my sister-in-law was in labor. This was a "get-her-to-the-hospital-fast" kind of thing. He was breech and sceduled for C-section delivery on March 30. He decided to start making his way about 3AM lol. She got admitted and Dyllan Cole was delivered at 12:41pm via C-section weighing 7lbs 12 ounces, 20.5 inches long and melting our hearts at first sight. Dh's birthday is tomorrow. They're gonna be birthday buddies :)

Here's a few pics from the day gathered from various family members phones and cameras!

I'd like to buy a vowel...an O please.

I wish I could. My temps are telling me nothing. My OPKs are not exciting. Grrr.

Gettin' Crafty Wit' It!

Na na na na na na na...

Ok, I'll stop.

So, I tackled something that's been intimidating to me...crocheting a hat. I can do simple stuff..afghans, baby blankets, scarves..etc.. But something round seemed difficult. But tonight I found a great 'how-to' online and gave it a whirl! Pretty pleased at my first attempt.