Monday, February 28, 2011
Anticipation
I'm so extremely excited about the upcoming birth of my nephew (30 days or less EEEK!!) I took some pics of my sister-in-law and this one is my favorite:
Sunday, February 27, 2011
20 Questions
Ok, Britney from My Journey tagged me for this..Here we go!
Rule #1: The tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: Tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?
If you know me at all, you already know this and are rolling your eyes like "Do they really have to ask that?" My dogs are my babies. I have four. Yeah that's crazy, I know. But I LOVE them like crazy and I couldn't imagine not having any of them.
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
To be a mommy one day :)
3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
With a billion dollars, I would have a harder time thinking of what not to do. For one, I would go buy this cute little house here in town that I am in love with. It's just so perfect looking. It's not for sale, but I'm sure with the right offer, anything's possible right? ;) We would get the car each of us wanted. Share the wealth with the fam and go on the honeymoon we never had.
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Easy, a bath. It doesn't necessarily make me come skipping and whistling out of the bathroom, but I'm less likely to kill someone hehe.
5. What is your bedtime routine?
Bath, jammies, one of us takes the dogs out one last time, and settle in with DH to watch Netflix til we get sleepy.
6. What activities did you do in High School? If you could go back, would you do the same stuff or something different?
I was in choir, honor society and participated in all the homecoming activities (making floats, decorating school etc.) I went to all the dances. I think I'd do it pretty much the same.
7. What kind of books do you read?
Well, I haven't been reading lately which is a shame, I know. I'm gonna get dumb. But, I do love a good series. Yes, of course Twilight and Harry Potter. I also love James Patterson-the Womens Murder Club series is super good. I used to read a lot of Stephen King. Oooh and Jodi Picoult! If you haven'r read her, you definitely should!
8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
2-3 kids, jobs we love and just being content. I don't need to have it all, just the simple things in life and a family.♥
9. What’s your fear?
Well, duh. I fear I am never going to be a mom. Let's not dwell on that one.moving on..
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
Never!
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Secretly, if I wake up before Adam..sometimes I lay there and wait for him to wake up so he can take the dogs out..then when he's out of sight, I get up and go pee. Don't tell tho, k? This is a good thing I got going :)
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?
His "cleaning". I would prefer it if he didn't "help." Here's how it goes down on a day he has cleaned:
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I actually like mine and wouldn't change it. I was the only Angela in my grade or any of the grades around mine. I like to be different. ;)
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
OMG. I would lose my mind from all the muddy pawprints. Sun. Sun. Sun.
15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Chinese. Love it. Never gets old.
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
I like having an outlet I guess. And I also like the decorating part hehe
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
Salty I would say.
18. What items are in your purse right now?
I actually have not even looked in my purse since the last week of January when we went on a small trip. I mostly just stick my debit card in my pocket and go with it. But, here's what I remember being in there: Wallet/checkbook, Icebreaker Sours, Sweetpea scented hand sanitizers, bunch of receipts, I'm sure some kind of lipgloss/chapstick.
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
Tough one...beach I think.
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?
Food Network at night...makes me hungry
okay...I tag
Tillie at a nuttier life
Amy at Miracle in the Making
Melodie at The {in}fertility Diaries
Janessa at My Jolly Life
Rule #1: The tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: Tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?
If you know me at all, you already know this and are rolling your eyes like "Do they really have to ask that?" My dogs are my babies. I have four. Yeah that's crazy, I know. But I LOVE them like crazy and I couldn't imagine not having any of them.
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
To be a mommy one day :)
3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
With a billion dollars, I would have a harder time thinking of what not to do. For one, I would go buy this cute little house here in town that I am in love with. It's just so perfect looking. It's not for sale, but I'm sure with the right offer, anything's possible right? ;) We would get the car each of us wanted. Share the wealth with the fam and go on the honeymoon we never had.
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Easy, a bath. It doesn't necessarily make me come skipping and whistling out of the bathroom, but I'm less likely to kill someone hehe.
5. What is your bedtime routine?
Bath, jammies, one of us takes the dogs out one last time, and settle in with DH to watch Netflix til we get sleepy.
6. What activities did you do in High School? If you could go back, would you do the same stuff or something different?
I was in choir, honor society and participated in all the homecoming activities (making floats, decorating school etc.) I went to all the dances. I think I'd do it pretty much the same.
7. What kind of books do you read?
Well, I haven't been reading lately which is a shame, I know. I'm gonna get dumb. But, I do love a good series. Yes, of course Twilight and Harry Potter. I also love James Patterson-the Womens Murder Club series is super good. I used to read a lot of Stephen King. Oooh and Jodi Picoult! If you haven'r read her, you definitely should!
8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
2-3 kids, jobs we love and just being content. I don't need to have it all, just the simple things in life and a family.♥
9. What’s your fear?
Well, duh. I fear I am never going to be a mom. Let's not dwell on that one.moving on..
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
Never!
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Secretly, if I wake up before Adam..sometimes I lay there and wait for him to wake up so he can take the dogs out..then when he's out of sight, I get up and go pee. Don't tell tho, k? This is a good thing I got going :)
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?
His "cleaning". I would prefer it if he didn't "help." Here's how it goes down on a day he has cleaned:
Babe, have you seen my ____?
No, I haven't touched it.
It was right there the last time I saw it.
I dunno.
But YOU cleaned.It's just beyond me how you can't remember where you put something! I really suspect a missing circuit from hand to brain while cleaning. I tell him he just hides stuff.
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I actually like mine and wouldn't change it. I was the only Angela in my grade or any of the grades around mine. I like to be different. ;)
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
OMG. I would lose my mind from all the muddy pawprints. Sun. Sun. Sun.
15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Chinese. Love it. Never gets old.
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
I like having an outlet I guess. And I also like the decorating part hehe
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
Salty I would say.
18. What items are in your purse right now?
I actually have not even looked in my purse since the last week of January when we went on a small trip. I mostly just stick my debit card in my pocket and go with it. But, here's what I remember being in there: Wallet/checkbook, Icebreaker Sours, Sweetpea scented hand sanitizers, bunch of receipts, I'm sure some kind of lipgloss/chapstick.
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
Tough one...beach I think.
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?
Food Network at night...makes me hungry
okay...I tag
Tillie at a nuttier life
Amy at Miracle in the Making
Melodie at The {in}fertility Diaries
Janessa at My Jolly Life
Friday, February 25, 2011
Blah
That's all I have to say really.
Blah.
I feel like crap. My boobs hurt so I *think* I ovulated. One can never really be sure. Well you can if you are being diligent. I plan on being just that next cycle - diligent. So let's hope AF doesn't play hide and seek and just comes in a timely fashion.
Blah.
I feel like crap. My boobs hurt so I *think* I ovulated. One can never really be sure. Well you can if you are being diligent. I plan on being just that next cycle - diligent. So let's hope AF doesn't play hide and seek and just comes in a timely fashion.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Storms: Weather and Other Kinds
There's nothing quite like living in Tornado Alley at the onset of spring. We have always been pretty lucky except for April 2, 2006. It changed the face of my quiet little town forever. On that lovely Sunday evening, as families were at evening church services, unwinding after dinner and just going about life as usual - an F3 tornado, 1/2 a mile WIDE was making it's way toward us. It destroyed 60% of my town, including our high school. We were without power and water for days. Hundreds were without a home. We were very fortunate than none of our families homes were majorly damaged and no one in our town died. That's nothing short of a miracle. Here's the monster and you can view some of the damage HERE:
Tonight we had some pretty severe storms. Our county had a tornado warning for 2 straight hours. You can see why that's scary. And it never fails that we all go back to that day with baseball sized hail falling from the sky and the sirens wailing. But there were no actual tornadoes tonight so I'm thankful for that.
I'm not really sure why anyone would want to establish a town here - we have the threat of tornadoes, we are situated on the infamous New Madrid Fault, and we are built on the banks of the Mississippi River. And I mean literally on the river - one our banks is about 50 yards from it. But whatever, it's not Angelaville is it?
I guess the other storm I'm talking about is an emotional one. Mainly because of my mom. Again. It never fails. Maybe I should be in therapy? I see a lot of movies with people in therapy about their moms...lol anyway. She calls me today and here is the ENTIRE convo:
Ahh, Brittany. She is my mom and stepdad's niece. She needs and wants a baby like she needs a hole in her head. She found out around Thanksgiving that she was pregnant and was telling us how she wasn't going to let her boyfriend get f*cked up if she couldn't. I was peeling and stabbing potatoes. Her brother and his wife had a baby boy not long ago - very happy for them and I even got to take the baby's picture. But I was a little hurt by my parents involvement. Emotionally I mean. It seemed like they felt like the baby's grandparents. I can't explain it you would just have to see it. But all I know is it makes me feel small and hurt that they would give the love reserved for my baby away.
I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know they will love my baby. They just don't understand what it's like to want something so much and just not be able to make it happen - for you, for your husband, for the whole family. I'm not jealous that other people can get pregnant and I can't. I'm over that. I just don't want to feel like less of a daughter because I haven't produced a grandchild.
Tonight we had some pretty severe storms. Our county had a tornado warning for 2 straight hours. You can see why that's scary. And it never fails that we all go back to that day with baseball sized hail falling from the sky and the sirens wailing. But there were no actual tornadoes tonight so I'm thankful for that.
I'm not really sure why anyone would want to establish a town here - we have the threat of tornadoes, we are situated on the infamous New Madrid Fault, and we are built on the banks of the Mississippi River. And I mean literally on the river - one our banks is about 50 yards from it. But whatever, it's not Angelaville is it?
I guess the other storm I'm talking about is an emotional one. Mainly because of my mom. Again. It never fails. Maybe I should be in therapy? I see a lot of movies with people in therapy about their moms...lol anyway. She calls me today and here is the ENTIRE convo:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Well Brittany is having a girl.
Me: Ok..?
Mom: I was going to see if you wanted to make her a blanket?
Me:.... (/facepalm) I...guess.
Mom: Ok. Bye.
Ahh, Brittany. She is my mom and stepdad's niece. She needs and wants a baby like she needs a hole in her head. She found out around Thanksgiving that she was pregnant and was telling us how she wasn't going to let her boyfriend get f*cked up if she couldn't. I was peeling and stabbing potatoes. Her brother and his wife had a baby boy not long ago - very happy for them and I even got to take the baby's picture. But I was a little hurt by my parents involvement. Emotionally I mean. It seemed like they felt like the baby's grandparents. I can't explain it you would just have to see it. But all I know is it makes me feel small and hurt that they would give the love reserved for my baby away.
I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know they will love my baby. They just don't understand what it's like to want something so much and just not be able to make it happen - for you, for your husband, for the whole family. I'm not jealous that other people can get pregnant and I can't. I'm over that. I just don't want to feel like less of a daughter because I haven't produced a grandchild.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Taken
 |
| Poem by Anne Marie Freitas |
Please remember Kellie and her family in prayer as they do something no one should have to do, say goodbye to their child. They are asking people to have their little girls wear big bows or flowers in their hair in memory of Maddie today.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Imperfection and weakness
I'm so very far from perfect. And so is our relationship. Like all others, we have our ups and downs - maybe more downs than some. We have had to overcome a lot of things, and we always come out stronger because of it. Even the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of becoming parents. I was looking through past entries in my blog, and in February of last year I was clueless as to what was wrong with me and why it wasn't happening for us. At the orders of a quack nurse practitioner, I was taking birth control pills. That didn't go so well. It damn sure didn't help anything.
I'm just not sure how strong I am. How strong WE are. This has been so tiring. Maybe we waited too long to start trying. I look at most TTC stories and they started right after the wedding or within a year or 2. For us, we've been together nearly 11 years and married for 6 - something has been missing for awhile now. It just really wears you down.
But we're gonna keep trying. We don't know how not to anymore.
I'm just not sure how strong I am. How strong WE are. This has been so tiring. Maybe we waited too long to start trying. I look at most TTC stories and they started right after the wedding or within a year or 2. For us, we've been together nearly 11 years and married for 6 - something has been missing for awhile now. It just really wears you down.
But we're gonna keep trying. We don't know how not to anymore.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Today is a day for miracles
I've been gone awhile but I'm tiptoeing my way back into things.
Today is such a happy day. A beautiful friend and fellow PCOS chick has brought a miracle baby into this world. After trying for 2 years to conceive, she finally did and now has a perfect little man in her arms. She has been such a support to me and many others, and now she and her little family are a beacon of hope in this sometimes dark and dreary fight. Congratulations Amy, many happy tears for you and your sweet Jackson.
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