This is not a fairytale. I learned that quite a few months ago. Naively, we went into this thinking "Oh! We want to have a baby now" and expected that it would happen because we wanted it to. And, for some that does work. Not for me - or many others like me. It's hard. It's emotional. It sometimes gets the best of you. So, after over a year of trying to conceive and a PCOS diagnosis, I find myself here - trying to believe.
Zero Support
We've been TTC for over a year and I have zero support from my family. They aren't against us having a kid, they just aren't there for me. Well, by they I mean my mom. We aren't close at all. We aren't even speaking at the moment. I lived with my great grandmother since birth, so it's no wonder I'm not close with my mom. My great grandmother was my mom, dad and friend all rolled into one. She passed away when I was 19 and my life changed forever. I miss her every single day. My mom is an overall disappointment to me. She drinks a lot and is a very selfish person. I was over at her house a few months ago and I was telling her about a name I liked for a girl and she said, "If you ever have one. I'm not holding my breath." Gut punch. Wind knocked out of me. It's days like that I need TMP. I feel pretty confident I know how NOT to be a mom from her. I miss my real mom, my nanny. I could talk to her about anything and she would do anything in her power to help me, not hurt me. Well, that's all. My eyes burn.
3 comments:
Wow, sounds like it is a good thing you did not grow up with her. You wouldn't be the strong amazing person you are today.
I'm sorry you don't have support from family. Thank God for TMP!
That hurts my heart Angela, I am here for you.
Hugs, Angela! :( Your great grandmother was an amazing woman and I'm so glad that you had her in your life. I'm sorry that you aren't close to your mom but I know that you will be an amazing mom to your own kids (and you WILL have them!).
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