This is not a fairytale. I learned that quite a few months ago. Naively, we went into this thinking "Oh! We want to have a baby now" and expected that it would happen because we wanted it to. And, for some that does work. Not for me - or many others like me. It's hard. It's emotional. It sometimes gets the best of you. So, after over a year of trying to conceive and a PCOS diagnosis, I find myself here - trying to believe.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

At this point

We aren't actively TTC anymore. At least for now. It's been a long and unsuccessful road. It's left me with a lot of unanswered questions about why it isn't happening for us. So with the super long cycle, we end the active portion and enter the NTNP, or "not trying, not preventing." I'm gonna try to get things sorted out with my body and find out what is going on. I've suspected PCOS for a long time now, I've just never had the tests done. And with nursing school approaching in July, it makes sense to put this on the back burner because I really don't want to be pregnant for that. After these 14 months of trying, I've just lost my hope. It's going to still be really hard to not try because I still want it very much. I think I will start ending my posts with a quote - I love quotes. Well, words in general. Music lyrics, too. They kind of encapsulate what I'm thinking/feeling, because sometimes I just ramble :P

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
- Corita Kent

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