The Itchy and Scratchy Show

I didn't sleep worth crap last night. I was so itchy, it was weird! It was mostly on my chest. I have a small dry patch of skin below my belly button too. I had just gotten out of the bathtub before bed, so it wasn't anything on my skin. So basically, I'm more tired today than usual. I added a a ticker to the top of the page, counting down the # of days til I go to the doctor. It can't come fast enough. I almost broke down and went to the convenient care clinic at the hospital. :sigh: I guess I'll wait it out.

What's this?...Ohhhhh

Facebook is always changing things. The other night something popped up about groups and I thought it meant chat, since that's the thing I noticed was changed. So I arranged my TMP people into a group. The next thing I know there were 3 or 4 of us talking on the same IM box. I thought "Neat!" Then I saw there was actually a page,too. So, it's neat, but I did it totally by accident, lol.

How I'm Feeling?

I really don't know how I feel. I know I feel exhausted all.the.time. I spend my time yawning, eating and peeing. Could be IPS, because yep, still no BFP. I don't know what to think, because I definitely do not trust my feelings because God knows they have been wrong every other time. The length of this cycle is killing me. I need something to happen--fast!

No news is good news?

Says who?? Waiting is torture! I would rather know something than nothing. Here's the chain of events:

• Oct 13-Saw doctor, had blood drawn to test for PCOS
• Oct 15-I call office to see if my test results are in. The nurse said they were but she couldn't tell me over the phone. Made appt for Oct 27th
• Oct 16-I get letter saying the office has been trying to reach me concerning my labs
• Oct 18-I call and tell them I received a letter that the doctor wanted to talk to me about my labs. She tells me I need to make an appointment.

It's been fun...not.

Thinking...

Call me delusional stupid optimistic but here's my train of thought...

1. If I have PCOS, I've had it for awhile now.
2. I've been monitoring my cycles for over a year now and always start my period on or before CD38, except once and it was like CD45
3. I have gobs of pregnancy symptoms.
4. It's CD61

The secret of why I'm still somewhat sane

The Mommy Playbook. I have met so many wonderful women there. They have provided the bulk of my support on this TTC journey.I really would be crazy if I didn't have anyone to talk to about all the grisly details of all this. I ♥ you girls.

If you or someone you love is struggling with infertility, a loss, or would simply like to chat with women like you about motherhood, this is the place you wanna be.

Test Results Are In

But it doesn't do me any good. I called and asked were they in and the nurse said, "Yes, they're in." Ok, so I sat there a minute...."Can you tell me what they are?" "Can't do it over the phone." I was transferred to the front desk to make an appointment. "She can see you on the 27th at 1:30." Oh. My. GOD. That is an eternity.

These shoes are made for walkin'....

Unfortunately, I'm not. I hate exercise. I admit it, I'm lazy. But I need to think about my long term health, and even if I don't have PCOS, I need to lose weight. I've decided if I do have it, to go ahead with the Metformin, which means a diet change. Lot's of changes.

New Doc and More Waiting

So my doctor appointment with my new doctor was today. I was called back by the nurse and she asked the reason for my appointment and I told her my LMP was August 18th. So of course I had to pee in a cup and I went to my exam room. I could hear all the girls talking a few minutes went by and one said "Oh. No, she's pregnant." And of course my heart skipped a beat. Until the pregnant lady's voice came in a minute later and was talking with them. Sigh.

So after what seemed forever, the doctor came in and I liked her immediately. She's very open and easy to talk to. I also liked that she came in, sat down and started talking to me instead of looking in my ears, nose and throat. (Yes, my last doctor did that for everything it seemed) She said my urine test was negative. We talked further and she told me by looking at me and my symptoms, it was likely I have PCOS. They drew blood and I should know for sure within a week.

She said if I do have PCOS, I can come in and we can talk about the 'big picture' and what our next steps will be. If I want to TTC, she will prescribe me Metformin.

So, for now I'm waiting.

Scaredy Pants

Ok, I'll admit it: I'm scared. Of a few things currently. I'm scared of my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm scared of what they'll find. I'm afraid that having kids might not be possible for me. But not knowing scares me a tad bit more, so I'll just have to be brave and hopefully get some answers, good or bad.

"People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams."

Cereal Killer

It's that time again. All I wanna eat at night is cereal. In the last week and a half, I've gone through a box of King Vitaman (blast from the past, right?) Frosted Flakes and half a box of Cap N' Crunch. I'm really not into breakfast but it's all I want at night.

For my next victim....Honey Combs or Corn Pops. Who's feeling lucky?

Being Tested

The following story is irrelevant to TTC, but it's a good laugh at my expense.

So I've be preparing for dreading my psychology test for a few days. I put off studying until today. I was going to make sure I was up at 10am to start studying. Adam and I stayed up until after 3am watching old episodes of The Office. (Somehow I missed the middle seasons.) Anyway, somehow Adam the alarm didn't wake me up Adam and I didn't get up until noon. Mind you I don't even know what the test is about and it's at 5pm. Literally had not cracked the book. My stupid eyes are to blame. So I scrambled around and studied pretty good.
 I got there and almost broke my ankle walking in the front door. I found the classroom that I'd never been to. I was a good 20 minutes early and there were several people in the room. I sat down and no one had a book like mine. I was starting to get a bad feeling about this... Then the teacher started passing out the test. The top of it said Philosophy! I was wanting to shrink in size to a few inches tall and run unnoticed from the room. A girl across the room seemed to be looking at me since I sat down. She said "Are you in psychology? We're over on this side." Weird. Ok. So I go across the room. At this point, everything has gone wrong and I'm feeling really bad vibes about the test. She passed it out and I could breathe. I know I passed it - probably did really good. Thank God. I hobbled out to the car, stopped by Burger King and got ketchup on my favorite jeans. The End.