This is not a fairytale. I learned that quite a few months ago. Naively, we went into this thinking "Oh! We want to have a baby now" and expected that it would happen because we wanted it to. And, for some that does work. Not for me - or many others like me. It's hard. It's emotional. It sometimes gets the best of you. So, after over a year of trying to conceive and a PCOS diagnosis, I find myself here - trying to believe.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Busy and Death

So, I have been so busy lately. And getting busier. I'll be glad when Christmas is over lol. I get paranoid my prints won't be in on time. Tomorrow is CD9 (I think?) So my monitor may start asking for sticks (I think...) I'm pretty scatterbrained.

And ok, this is awkward but if you haven't read some of my posts then I should tell you I was not raised by my mom or my dad. While my mom was in my life at least my biological father was not. I think I have maybe seen him twice in my life and it wasn't nice or happy or anything resembling a Lifetime movie. Anyway, I got word today that he died yesterday. I'm not sure what I feel. Mostly, I feel nothing. He is more a stranger than a relative and I guess it's hard to miss something you never had... I guess I feel kind of cold for not feeling...affected?..or whatever you would call it, but I just don't.

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1 comment:

One Day at a Time said...

it's okay to not feel anything- I'm sorry that happened though. :hugs:

December 7, 2010 at 8:52 PM

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