This is not a fairytale. I learned that quite a few months ago. Naively, we went into this thinking "Oh! We want to have a baby now" and expected that it would happen because we wanted it to. And, for some that does work. Not for me - or many others like me. It's hard. It's emotional. It sometimes gets the best of you. So, after over a year of trying to conceive and a PCOS diagnosis, I find myself here - trying to believe.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Imperfection and weakness

I'm so very far from perfect. And so is our relationship. Like all others, we have our ups and downs - maybe more downs than some. We have had to overcome a lot of things, and we always come out stronger because of it. Even the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of becoming parents. I was looking through past entries in my blog, and in February of last year I was clueless as to what was wrong with me and why it wasn't happening for us. At the orders of a quack nurse practitioner, I was taking birth control pills. That didn't go so well. It damn sure didn't help anything.

I'm just not sure how strong I am. How strong WE are. This has been so tiring. Maybe we waited too long to start trying. I look at most TTC stories and they started right after the wedding or within a year or 2. For us, we've been together nearly 11 years and married for 6 - something has been missing for awhile now. It just really wears you down.

But we're gonna keep trying. We don't know how not to anymore.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are all here for you <3

Tillie said...

thanks for telling me you posted about this too. I'm so far behind in my reader that I might have missed it. It's hard. I wish it wasn't. Just know others are going through it too and are here for you too.